In popular culture, sex and love are often viewed as two mutually exclusive things that sometimes overlap and sometimes don't. If they do overlap, it is presumed to be only by choice or sheer force of will. We've spent some time discussing the importance of spirituality as it relates to soulfulness and a deeper connection to the universe within. Sex—and by extension sexuality—is inevitably a part of this relationship with the soul as it is a physical activity that allows us to share who we are with another person while at the same time sharing and experiencing who that person is with us. It is even said that individual sex with another person creates a soul tie, or spiritual connection, that invariably links our spirit and influence with theirs. Another way to put this is that the physical is not detachable from the emotional, no matter what other sources may tell you. For all of these reasons, I strongly feel that to ignore this sacred aspect of our humanity would be to ignore a gigantic portion of what drives us in our decision-making patterns and in our quest to understand ourselves, our souls, and our purpose in this world. Sex is spiritual, and sex is personal, yet sex is also tied to the community and, therefore, significantly influences how we move about in it. Simply put: Sex is too much a part of our spiritual self for us to deem it too provocative for conversation.
As we have previously discussed, our spirituality is our relationship with the aspects of self that delve beyond the physical and wholly tie us to our purpose on this earth. That's why Alpha Hearts places such an emphasis on holistic methods for integrative healing, such as meditation, numerology, and tarot, to clear the mind and focus the spirit. Only when we quiet the din of distraction and doubt can we arrive at our soul's true purpose. Sexuality, on the other hand, is tied to our relationship with our physical body, how we understand ourselves as sensual beings, and how we feel and desire physical pleasure in the body that we keep. This goes hand in hand with spirituality because who we are and what we desire is so attached to our physical selves. We are divine yet mortal beings. We breathe air, crave connection, touch skin, see beauty. We feel love as much as through a song or a word of affirmation as we do through the caress of a loved one or lover. Sex educator Amy Jo Goddard puts it this way: "Sexuality is our spirituality in physical form… Sexuality is to spirituality as matter is to non-matter; Sexuality is to spirituality as sensation is to higher thought; Sexuality is to spirituality as pleasure is to joy… Sexuality is to spirituality as creativity is to divinity… Sexuality is not meant to be denied. It is meant to be acknowledged, loved, and explored." The past five to ten years have seen dramatic growth in our culture's understanding, tolerance, and acceptance of how Sexuality works, how it is expressed, and between whom it may be expressed. It's too soon for us to lose that momentum. In analytical psychology, the term "libido" also translates to "life force." Indeed, our sexual drive is something that connects our dharma to the universe and the divine—And we serve to benefit ourselves and our community when we fully acknowledge the truly sacred and sanctifying act that sex can be. Make no mistake. This is not meant to be an argument either in favor of abstinence or in favor of promiscuity; rather, it is a call for a deeper understanding of the intersection between divinity and mortality; our spirit and our body; our soul and our sexual selves.
The Buddhist Tantric tradition understands that sexual energy is meant to be mastered in a healthy (emphasis on healthy), trusting way through the guidance of trustworthy male and female relationships (Note:The Geode defines this as "between consenting adults of any gender") that merge healthy Sexuality with the sexual experience. What this translates to is that sex and Sexuality needs to be a topic of conversation for the good of the culture—On this blog, in our homes, in our circles. So far, I've found this is something that Western culture has yet to be able to adopt fully. So much fear, skepticism, and misunderstanding still surround the topic. If we are a culture that has lost the ability to appreciate and communicate how we might touch each other fully, then we are a culture that has lost touch with ourselves. Honesty and light bring understanding and change. Secrecy and taboo bring deviance and shame. Join me in future weeks as we walk through what it looks like to sexually be living in the light.
Holistic Life and Sex Coach